Dumb things we did for love

...so you don't have to

Mar 28, 2024

Young & Oversharing is your weekly newsletter for young women navigating life’s ups, downs, and in-betweens—one mistake at a time. Join us every Thursday for laughs, lessons, and those ‘I thought it was just me’ moments. Sign up here:

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A gasp, a laugh and a WTF moment are the key ingredients to this newsletter. And it is all thanks to love!

Love is a complex thing to navigate. It is safe to say that none of us know what we are doing in that department of our lives. You would think after centuries of love stories, someone would have a handbook. If I could write one, I would title it, 'For Your Dizzy Feelings.' Too much?

If you woke up today kicking yourself because of love, these stories will soothe your pain because love doozies are a thing. Did I mention that they are a thing for EVERYONE? Read these stories by three women who did dumb things in the name of love.

I cooked my skin for him.

It was in high school, and I had bagged one of the finest boys. The girls called him the light-skinned version of Lil Bow Wow. A little too much praise for his immature ego, I would say. But yes, he was a good-looking boy. I guess I was dangerously in love because I lost all sense and decided to tattoo his name on my skin.

To give you context as to why this was a crazy idea, I was a scholar at a Methodist-run school. The rules at these institutions are stiff, and what I was trying to do was OUT OF THE QUESTION! But who was going to stop a girl in love?

Someone had already started plugging the girls on how to tattoo themselves, and I was ready to join the trend. The skill was pretty simple. All we needed was a candle, wire and skin. The wire was made hot in the candle flame before being transferred to your skin. It needed to touch your skin at its hottest as you carved your tattoo. I probably need to stop calling it tattooing and call it skin cooking. It hurt like a *bleep* but so does love, right?

I believe I did mine on my hand. In all caps, it read, TONY. The girls that were around me were cheering me on as I ruined my skin. Tony was chuffed, of course, a proud man he was.

Unfortunately, my act of love was not enough for him to dedicate himself to only me. He cheated on me with a girl from his class, and I found out after I had spent my money on his birthday gifts. At the end of it all, I had his name on both my hand and the cake I bought him. What a fairytale!

I just wanted to see him.

I was leaving my home country for a job abroad, a life-changing opportunity. My darling mother, whom I love, handed me $100. It was all the money she had at the time. She gave me specific instructions to use that money for my rental and food. With gratitude, I accepted her token and put it away.

My flight had a layover in the country my then-boyfriend lived in. Of course, I was going to see that man. My greed for time with my boyfriend led me to book a 24-hour layover. After all, the layover was 'free' of charge. I landed in my boyfriend's country only to be told there was an early flight available that I could take. And this is where everything started falling apart.

The kind lady informed me that choosing the layover would mean I had to cover the hotel cost. Why did they have a flight ready for me to go? What to do? WHAT TO DO? Light bulb moment.

"How much would the hotel cost me?" I asked

"70 dollars for the night."

All I had was the $100 my mother gave me in good faith. She would understand, right?

Yes, I paid the $70. Through all the excitement with my man, I forgot to mention that all I had on me was $30. I boarded my flight to the final destination on the following day. Upon arrival, reality stared me in the face. What now, doll? I couldn't call my mother. She would have been frantic.

I braved it and asked for an advance at work. Luckily, the company granted me one worth $80. And that, Oversharers, is how I made it through the month.

I crossed a boundary I had NEVER crossed.

My brother set me up on a blind date with his then-friend, Boundary*. He had given Boundary* my number without my consent, so we started talking over the phone. Boundary had one of those irresistible and mesmerising voices. I liked that. After a few days of chatting, we finally met up. When I saw him, I was very disappointed. His physical appearance did not match the voice I had heard over the phone. It was one of those moments where my imagination had gone way overboard. This date was the right time to shut his advances down, but I did not.

I stuck around for a lot more than the date. Something inside of me convinced me that he was better than being lonely. In all honesty, loneliness was a better bet. All I did was foster his smoking habit, and we barely spoke about anything outside of partying and gossip. In case you hadn't noticed, I was young, dumb and desperate.

Fast forward, my brother decided to host a drink-up at home, and he invited Boundary. The drink-ups were always fun. We stocked up on the alcohol, the music was loud, and the vibes were correct. As all drink-ups go, the music gets boring, and someone suggests we play a game. Eventually, the game gets boring, and a freaky kissing session becomes the only viable option.

Our parent's house was not that big, so the children's bedrooms got occupied very quickly. The options were the master bedroom, the lounge or outside. I am granting you all the permission to judge me for making out with a guy I didn't even like on my parent's bed. Guilt wouldn't let my juices flow, so I stopped him. That may have been the beginning of the end of us. Don't try this at home, kids!

Word of the week: The wounds will heal, but the scars live on for us to tell the stories.

To finding love and Oversharing about it, maybe? *clink clink*

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