I hope it hurts
On the silent, devastating end of a friendship that felt like family.
Your engagement has superpowers, bestie! Those likes, comments, and shares are how we grew to 400+ oversharers. Help us find the next one. If this makes you giggle, cry, think, or roll your eyes, please pass it on.
Thanks, and enjoy!
I hope it hurts when you think of me. I hope you have days you regret fading from my life. I hope the gap I left never gets filled, so you are reminded of who I was to you. And I hope my memory haunts you in the adventures you chase.
I am not happy for your new friends, they have the friend I wanted to have forever. The friend who would check everyone, because I don’t like confrontation. The friend who celebrated every win of mine. The friend who took her last dollar to buy me a birthday gift. The friend who held me through heartbreaks from men who only wanted me for the moment.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve X in my life.”
You should be saying that about me.
Yeah, I wasn’t perfect, but I held you down. I loved you with all of me. But maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe you didn’t feel it. Heck, maybe I loved you in the wrong love language. But you could have said something. You always did before. So I know that wasn’t it.
Maybe my abandonment wounds are being unreasonable. Overthinking a simple situation. My time was up, and I just hate to hear it. I didn’t fit the puzzle of your life anymore, and I can’t swallow it. I became the square block for the circle you had created. There just wasn’t room for me.
It isn’t enough, though. I need more. I need a reason.
Now I sit here wondering where I went wrong. Had me reaching into the past to try to pull you back in. I couldn’t bear the idea of living without your laughter and your soft hugs. But I ran out of things to reach for. Exhausted, I knew it was time to start letting go.
And I did the usual. Talked about it with a stiff tone, so nobody would know how badly it hurt. The pain churns in my stomach. It whispers loudly in my sleep and awakens me. It keeps my pillow wet.
Maybe if we had fought, I would at least have anger to battle with. But all I have is silence, and that girl loves a calm moment. So, now what?
I finally found the strength to delete the pictures. A folder that held 1000+ memories of us, gone. You and your family no longer live in my phone. It feels like I lost family. One more step, and maybe I will start forgetting you. Us. Everything.
You were one of my best friends. At least I get to say I experienced that in this lifetime.
With an oversharing heart,
Nobuhle
A little about us
Young & Oversharing is a growing community for women navigating life, love, and everything in between. Every Thursday, you’ll receive a fun, thoughtful letter. Tuesdays are for podcast releases (we have two shows, so you’ll never be bored). And there’s a friend finder event once a month. If this sounds like your kind of space, hit subscribe and join the sisterhood here:
Friendship break-ups are extremely unpleasant.