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Did you watch Reesa Teesa's 50-part TikTok series? I did, and whilst that story was all sorts of wild, there is one part that stuck with me. When Reesa said, 'I just wanted it to be my turn.' All she wanted was to live out her fairytale. Unfortunately, a man took advantage of her heart. I saw many young women in her pain because we resonate with that feeling. We want to feel seen, wanted, and chosen. We all want to see our dreams and manifestations materialising.
"Your time is coming."
A statement that is often confused for comforting words. I used to say this to people a lot, especially when I was still Christian. Of course, my belief in this statement was deep-rooted in the scriptural belief that God makes things happen at the right time. It made a lot of sense to me, and I assumed it introduced calmness to one's life. Years later, I wonder if it helped them because I don't find comfort in these words. They make me feel uneasy and trapped.
The first confronting feeling is discouragement. What I hear is that the effort that I am putting towards my life or dreams is unseen. Those four words tell me that the love I pour into people is not worth much. Feelings of betrayal arise, and I start to question the universe. Where are my rewards? My discouragement then morphs into anger with myself and the world. My anger emanates from feeling rejected. The cycle is always the same, and the more I think about it, the more I realise that the problem might lie within me. The statement is not untrue, so why do I get uncomfortable?
The answer is simple. Waiting is uncomfortable. Waiting forces you to confront demons that you would rather keep stored away. That season asks you to take control. It asks you to get in the face of your fears and conquer them. We are always scared of new territories because we do not know what awaits us on the other side of the door. Yet sometimes, the big break we want requires us to learn a new skill. Wholesome relationships need us to heal traumas. The leadership role we want to take on needs a fully self-aware woman, so introspection is required.
"There are years that ask questions and years that answer them." - Zora Neale Hurston.
So maybe we need to change how we look at these seasons and stop calling them waiting seasons. The truth is, you put in a lot of work towards your desires during these times. They are intensive because emotions are up and down, challenges surround you, and happiness feels out of reach. Sometimes doors close, forcing you to move in a completely different direction which, of course, is frustrating. It often feels like everything is spinning out of control until the chapter ends. It feels like an awakening moment because you realise how much has changed around and within you. You start to see how much each experience questioned parts of you, and you unknowingly answered.
Seasons of growth. Seasons of metamorphosis. Seasons of bloom.
I often remind myself that things aren't happening to me; they are happening for me. And I think it blends in very well with the low seasons we experience. These seasons are never painless, they are isolating, and sometimes they get dark. The silence you sit in is deafening. It feels like wherever you send your voice, it bounces back. There is nobody to answer you, and that is because this is a solo task. You are the answer. Your demons will sit before you and ask you uncomfortable questions. Relationships you held dear to your heart will fall away. Your heart will break into a million pieces before mending itself again. But I promise you the end is beautiful!
I have resisted my seasons of growth. My resistance introduced a delay in my bloom. I don't know which year you are in, but I do encourage you to give yourself the chance to grow into the best version of yourself. I wish you the very best in 2024.
To seasons of blooming into fruitful Oversharers! *clink clink*
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Thank you for these wise words! As an older woman (48), I’ll share that looking back I can say thank goodness certain things I longed-for didn’t happen when I wanted them to. I can see that I wasn’t ready, or my circumstances weren’t right, to make the most of them. Be patient and don’t wish any time away.
A lot of wisdom woven in here - about how to navigate life - especially when the things we wished for just don't show up despite our waiting and action taking and all the other things in between. If I get stuck in disappointment about those things, I often find I need a reframe, because there is always another story. And sometimes our wisdom shows us that what we wished for itn't what we thought it would be.