Don't talk to yourself like that
You are f***ing perfect!
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I am sorry for the silence in the last two weeks. My to-do list had a serious traffic jam and as a one man team, I had to press pause here. Please forgive me.
"You're so mean, you're so mean when you talk,
About yourself. You were wrong
Change the voices, change the voices in your head,
Make them like you instead" - Pink * Fucking Perfect
Lately, I have been very cruel to my body and myself. I stand in the mirror longer than usual, searching for the imperfections. I have compared myself to other people and wondered why I have been dealt the cards of ugliness. I have questioned if I will ever be the girl everyone wants to be. Or will I forever be invisible?
I have told my skin it needs to do better. I tell my stomach to find a new home because I don't want it anymore. There are days I laugh at myself for calling myself pretty. On those days, I fish for compliments and get none. That, in turn, validates my crazy thoughts. I say to myself, 'Yes, you are ugly. Always have been.' Sad isn't it?
Let me fill you in on what has been happening. In 2023, I decided to take my weight loss journey seriously. I was getting to a place where most of my clothes didn't fit, and I was a few bites away from struggling to buckle my shoes. My knees were cracking way more than they should have been, too. I was not too fond of the state I was in and knew I had to change a few things.
The biggest missing thing was exercise. So I started walking three times a week. It was hell in the beginning. My chest would tighten up, and my heart would threaten to collapse. I would be out of breath a kilometre into the walk. But I kept going, and it became easier every week. It's been beautiful to watch my body change.
The change tells me it is working, but I am now at the point where I think I look uneven. I promise you there is no other word to describe it than that. My legs have completely transformed, my hips are back, and the bunda is way more visible (yet to become earth-shattering). My upper tummy has shrunk, back rolls are down to one (very stubborn babe), but the lower belly is still bulging. I don't look like Blobby from Hotel Transylvania anymore, but I am not where I want to be either.
On the flip side, my skin has been acting up because the moisturiser I was using disappeared from the shelves. It turns out Catrice discontinued it. I haven't been able to find anything my skin likes. Right now, my skin looks like it belongs on the Pimple Popper show. Maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but I will stick by it.
I stopped myself the other day and realised that I have become the people I have called out for body-shaming me. Their words had become mine. And that scared me because I never wanted to be them. Until that moment, I had not realised that I had carried their words with me long enough to own them. But I knew it was time to disown them. I am learning to be kinder to myself, and as I do, I will nod my head to Pink's fucking perfect.
To keeping this song on repeat until we love ourselves with no conditions!
Whose words have you been carrying around? Let me know in the comment section!
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This piece by
had me sobbing in bed. She shares the journey she has had with her husband who is struggling with Cancer. Bess talks about how her love wants to let go but selfishly wants him to stay. A tug of war between love and reality. Read it here.- took the words right out of my mouth. Things aren’t the same since we lived on the fast. We always want to know whats happening, share what we have going on whilst forgetting that lie is for living and being in the moment. Read all about it here.
I love the vulnerability that is in this post by
. She has shared her journey with Bipolar so openly on her Substack. If you are trying to find your footing after a diagnosis this is a must read. Read here.
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece with us. I’ve just restarted my weight loss journey doing kickboxing twice a week and walking on my walking pad for at least an hour each day. I can’t wait to be in that spot of noticing the changes to my body as I put in the work. Give yourself grace when speaking to yourself, you’ve endured plenty of outside noise your entire life, it takes time to reframe your thoughts as you work on you.
Thank you so much for including me!
I’m currently trying to unlearn the beliefs I’ve held concerning not having clear skin. At this point, the pimples just keep coming and coming. I’m reminding myself that it isn’t a good or bad thing—it just is. And if my face eventually clears up again, who’s to say I won’t circle back to this phase again? I’m trying to accept myself regardless of how my skin or body looks. It’s difficult in this world but it’s also funny how I can live my day being fine and then look in the mirror and then insécurités pour in.
I hope on your journey with your body, you continue to speak kindly to and think kindly of it. It does so many amazing things and it belongs to you. No one else can give it the kind of love and care that you can.