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I can almost guarantee that the person reading this newsletter is sitting in a lie. Walk with me as I read you (and myself).
Allow me to paint a picture for you, a completely hypothetical scenario. *coughs* You have been working for a brand that aligns with your career goals, and it makes you happy. Then, you wake up one day with an email from your employer/client serving you with a notice to terminate the contract. They have been gracious enough to share the reason behind the termination. They are having financial trouble and wish not to inconvenience you as they are figuring it out. However, they promise to be in touch once things get better.
You, of course, show gratitude for the communication and continue to give your all for the remaining duration of the contract because you are addicted to making people happy and leaving a good reputation. The time finally comes for you to say goodbye. You do it gracefully because that is who you are. Suddenly, your brain gets into overdrive.
"Did they really have financial issues? Or did they not know how to tell me that I suck at my job?"
"Maybe it's because of the mistake I made last week with the Canva design."
"They probably found someone better than me for the job." *instantly begins stalking*
Congratulations, you have walked into the hall of lies, proudly sponsored by YOU!
The truth is that what your brain is telling is not always true, especially in situations that feel out of reach. For some odd reason, our brains reach for negativity, and we find peace in that space. Let me rephrase that. We find peace in the chaos of pain and the unknown. And weirdly, it fuels us to prove that we are good at what we do.
I know what you are thinking. No, it is not a good thing, because there is an underlying sense of revenge. Here is a crazy thought. Why aren't you just asking the questions you have? (It can't be a coincidence that I am watching RHOP, and they are playing a game called ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!)
Friendships, relationships and partnerships have fallen apart because we fed ourselves big fat lies, held onto them, and shared them. We have walked away from our dreams because we have convinced ourselves we can't bring them to life. If self-inflicted pain was a person, it would be you and I. The downside is that we fail to divorce ourselves from these falsehoods, and the repercussions will always be loss. We always lose.
But maybe it's time we freed ourselves from this madness. For how long shall we suffer? Here goes the first class *sips wine* to fighting the voices in our heads and believing the evidence.
Shall we raise a glass and overshare about how else to undo this mess we live in? *clink clink*
This is a very well thought article, I just love how you delve into the issue while reflect on your experience. The first half resonated well with me, especially the bit "...because you are addicted to making people happy and leaving a good reputation." This has haunted me since day one when I just started my job, I've always been struggling to please everyone at work even when they failed me.
I just believe that if I treat them well, they may do the same to me in return. That's probably the biggest, fattest lie I've been living in.
Listennn! I feel like these lies tie in with impostor syndrome in a way that can only be called DIABOLICAL
Wonderful piece, as always!